Q. Smith 2004

Loosely directed at a member of the touring team and based on The Who's "Pinball Wizard" this needs a fairly nifty bit of guitar work to pull off. It would be best re-worked to suit the intended 'target'.

The chord sequence and tablature for the opening phrases can be found on many internet sites.

Lawn Bowls Wizard

(with apologies to Pete Townshend)

Stands like a statue, looking round the ground,
Always got a fag on, never buys a round,
Always wins the raffle, never seen him fall,
That short, fat and bald guy, sure plays a-mean lawn bowls

He's a lawn bowls wizard, there has to be a catch,
A lawn bowls wizard, can always turn a match.

Even on an outside marker, he can beat their best,
The front end does the groundwork, he just does the rest,
Always gets a wick in, never seen him fail,
That short, fat and bald guy, sure plays a-mean lawn bowls

He's a lawn bowls wizard, there has to be a catch,
A lawn bowls wizard, can always turn a match.

How do you think he does it, (I don't know)
What makes him so good?

Ain't got no distractions, don't get no jokes 'bout bells,
Always eating baked beans, so that explains the smell,
Cracking sense of humour, he won't mind this at all,
That short, fat and bald guy, sure plays a-mean lawn bowls

Alternative last verse

Ain't got no distractions, don't hear last orders bells
Always wears a blazer, with a funny, musty, smell,
That's not the only reason, he's incontinent as well!
That short, fat and bald guy, sure plays a-mean lawn bowls

Back